The queen in snow white might have asked the mirror about who was the most beautiful person, but I want a mirror which can tell me who am I?
I know what I look like, I also know my name and most days I know my place in society. Somewhere, somehow, I have lost or maybe I never recognized who I am right from the beginning. Every day and every time I look in the mirror, I see a different person. Sometimes I am defined by relationships and sometimes I am defined by the moods of the people around me. Everyone has thoughts and opinions about who I am, but no one ever asked me who am I?
Adults like to ask children the minute they cross the age of 10 who or what they want to become when the grow up? During an interview the recruiter will ask, tell me something about yourself?
The adults asking this question to a child want to know if she/he will be a doctor or an engineer or some other professional that can impress him. So, it’s not about the child, its about the adult wanting to be impressed with the child’s knowledge, understanding, how good the parents have been in their upbringing. The child is intelligent or smart if she/he can impress this adult.
The interviewer wants to know about the candidate only to be impressed and be able to judge. This person again doesn’t want to know the real you, they just want to know if you can impress them and are smart enough to say the exact words that they are looking for.
Parents, siblings, spouses and friends all know and see you in their own version of you, but never the real you. They will define you as obedient, helpful, caring, loving depending on how many mistakes or faults they are ready to forgive you. How much of it is their real feelings and how much is it to impress the person asking this question from them?
Yes, all these relationships and situations are a part of me. What we forget is that they are just a part and not the whole of me. The need to be seen in the best light, to impress society doesn’t allow you to even begin to explore who you are. The latest trend has numerous quotes trying to grill in your mind that you need to stop caring about the opinion of others and that’s how you will get your mental peace and your sanity back.
How do you ignore the habit that has become a part of you for more than 2-3 decades? Is it that easy and if it is then why do we need to rewire the brain about what is important and what is not?
Today when you look at the mirror try to see all the faces and mask that you wear. Sometimes for a loved one, sometimes for work and sometimes just because you are too scared to reveal the real you.
You are all your moods, wishes, aspirations, compromises, and adjustments. Make that list for yourself and see which are the ones that you are really from your heart and want to wear happily and which are the ones you want to leave behind.
Look in the mirror and see the image your parents have created of you, your spouse, your siblings, your children, your friends, your acquaintances, even you yourself. Look that all these images of you and see how many parts are actually you, and how many of these parts are the creation of you.
Take time to meet yourself today!
