If we go by the English dictionary, it will be “bold/confident/fearless” but that’s dictionary. What do you want as the opposite of fear?
In my experience we as humans want the opposite of fear to be happy or just being peaceful in our mind. Wondering how is that even logical?
The fear of going to our daily jobs or the fear of not being good enough cant be countered with being fearless or bold or even confident. I want to feel acceptance within me for things, the way they are. I want to feel okay with having to get up in the morning and not have the thought of what all can go wrong and who all will try to trouble me or spoil my mood today. I don’t want to teach my kids that they need to study or else something bad will happen.
It’s easy to say that you can conquer your fear and your fears are nothing but you yourself trying to sabotage your own peace of mind. “You haven’t walked in my shoes even for a minute so don’t presume what I can or can’t do”. This is a statement that applies to each one of us.
We feel fear about everything and anything. To be honest, more than fear its, an irritation that we get up every morning with, about what all the today will hold. The irritation of how everything around us is conspiring to spoil that inner peace of our mind that “I spent 6-8hrs (if I am lucky) sleeping and hoping peace will greet me in the morning”.
It’s the irritation and the overthinking that comes with it. Not the fear of an earthquake or flood or cyclone or snake bite that’s taking my peace of mind. No, it’s a simple seemingly meek emotion that starts with irritation moves to over thinking and finally takes residence in our head in the form of fear.
So how do I make it go away and take the real estate of my mind back?
Over the years I have tried positive thinking, affirmations and gratitude, but what I found working the best for me is a simple thing called acceptance. Nothing more nothing less. Acceptance of things being as they are and God finding new ways to add to my already crazy life. Once you accept this, only then you will be able to move to finding solutions of getting the real estate back from “Fear”. Accept that some people will like you and some won’t. Some will help and some will be difficult for no reason. Accept there is no escaping all this because no man is an island and honestly, life alone on an island will be so boring.
The way you accept all the drama that is part of your life and gives you irritation and fear. Similarly accept that your reaction to these things would depend on a variety of things happening in your mind at that moment. Also accept that you are allowed to have those reactions. If you are kind, respectful to the other person what they do with your reaction is their choice of dealing with their own fears.
You can plan the entire game of chess beforehand down to every move and counter move, but you will still get surprises. So, accept them for what they are and look at it from a positive frame of mind about things, people and how all this is making your life interesting.
Again, as I said before, easier said than done, right? Let’s imagine you bought a new car and now you are fearful or getting a dent or a scratch on it. You saved, sacrificed to buy that car or maybe you had the means and bought that car.
The happiness of buying a new car is the same for everyone, the degree might vary but the base emotion is the same. Now let’s look at the fear that comes with it. Is it possible for you to ensure there never is a scratch or a dent on your car for the next 1 year at least? No, the roads, other people, your own mistake can all lead to it happening. Then the question that you need to think about is how logical is it to give up the real estate of your mind to this fear? Wont it be better to just accept that there is a possibility of this happening, and I will deal with it, if or when it arises? What does this do for your peace of mind? You stop the irritation, anxiety, and fear from being the dominant emotion in your mind and use that mental space to pursue things that increase your happy quotient.
I choose to accept things the way they will be without wanting all answers beforehand or the irritation of them to trouble me. Think about this example and see how many of your daily scenarios does it fit into? Do write in the comments below and share if you are ready to accept.
